01. 
Kiss the child goodbye, let her dreams run free, 
she's been too long trapped in a guilded cage 
for all the world to see.
(Adrian Snell - Kiss the child Goodbye)




Jeannette Stierman




Met een intens gevoel van bevrijding (16) en met grote 
blijdschap kondig ik hier mijn naams- verandering aan.
Vanaf 7 febr. 2001  mag ik mijn moeders meisjesnaam,
Stierman, als mijn meisjesnaam dragen. 

16.
I used to think that I could not go on
and life was nothing but a forgotten song. 
But now I know the meaning of true love. 
If I can see it and I can do it, 
if I just believe it, 
there's nothing to it. 
I believe I can fly, 
I believe I can touch the sky, 
I spread my wings and fly away. 
I see me running through that open door. 
See i was on the edge of breaking down. 
Sometimes silence can last so long, 
That miracles in life I must achieve. 
But first I know it starts inside of me. 
If I can see it, 
then I can be it, 
if I just believe it, 
there's nothing to it.

(R. Kelly- I believe I can fly)




Eindelijk gerechtigheid! Vanaf heden zal er geen twijfel 
meer zijn : ik hoor alleen bij mijn moeder. De keuze die
zij in haar leven heeft gemaakt om het leven door te 
geven, respecteer en begrijp ik. Ik wil hiermee de zgn.
schande omzetten in trots!



Drie jaar geleden werd mij verteld dat de man waarbij ik was 
opgegroeid en 'papa' noemde, niet mijn echte vader was maar 
de man die ik 'oom Dick' noemde.(02,03)


02.
Too many angels have seen me crying, 
Too many angels have heard you lying. 
Bring the morning on, 
I want to step out in the morning sun, 
I want this darkness gone.

(Jackson Browne - Too many angels) 




03.
Honesty is such a lonely word, 
everyone is so untrue, 
honestey is hardly ever heard,
but mostly what I need from you. 
I don't want a pretty face to tell me pretty lies,
all I want is someone to believe.

(Billy Joel - Honesty)        


De weg die ik heb moeten gaan
door vele soorten emoties heen 
is onbeschrijfelijk.(04,05,06,07)


04.
Here i am ,
so don't leave me stranded on the edge of a line, 
hanging on the edge of a lie.
I've been hurt so many times before, 
so becareful and kind.
(Sade - Somebody already broke my Heart)




05.
I need to remember the day, 
when we said goodbye for the very last time. 
There was still so much to say, 
but time came between us and quietly stole you away. 
Let me remember the day, 
we walked to the garden and sit for a while. 
The hours were slipping away. 
Still I try to hold down and freeze them in time. 
So leave me, 
beleaving we'll meet here again
and promise me some kind of sign.
And as each day turns into night 
I blow out the candle and turn down the sheet
and now that you'r reasons so high
I know that you watch over me as I sleep. 
Always believing we'll meet up again
and waiting for some kind of sign.
(Alan Parsons & Beverly Craven - The very Last Time)  




06.
I can't see you mama, 
but I know you're always there 
So say you help me mama 
cos its getting so hard. 
Now I can't keep you mama, 
but i know you're always there.
You listen, you touch me mama 
and I know inside you care.
So get down, down here beside me, 
oh you  ain't going nowhere, 
no I won't hurt you mama, 
but its getting so hard.
Can't you see me mama, 
please can't you feel my heart, 
listen to me mama, 
you're taking away my last chance, 
don't take it away.
Its hot, to hot for me mama 
but I can hardly wait.
My eyes they 're burning, mama 
and I can feel my body shake. 
Don't stop me mama, make the pain go away 
no I won't hurt you mama, 
but its getting so hard.
So stay don't leave me mama,
cos its getting so hard.
(Genesis - Mama)    




07.
I am a traveller in time,
i need some help to find my way.
It's hard to face another day. 
The passing years have left me tired. 
The path I've trodden much alone. 
Sometimes I feel a little broken-hearted. 
Inside I long to turn back home.
Where is the song I used to sing. 
Where is the joy inside my soul. 
Where is the life I should be living. 
Will you come and make me whole. 
The expectations- well they scare me truly, 
I want the child in me to stay  
(Adrian Snell - Traveller in Time)             


Beide vaders hebben mij na de dood 
van mijn moeder en Tonny (08,09) 
geen liefde en /of veiligheid, 
zelfs geen greintje warmte gegeven.(10,11)




08.
Bit by bit, I realize,
that's when I need them, 
that's when I need my fathers eyes.
Looking to my fathers eyes.
When the day get at you pissed, 
through the distance, clouds of tears, 
I'm like a bridge that was washed away,
my foundations were made of clay. 
As my soul lsides down to die, how 
could I lose him. what did I try, bit by bit I realize, he was 
here with me, I looked into my fathers eyes .
(Eric Clapton - My fathers eyes)   

09.
Daddy's flown across the ocean, 
leaving me just memories, 
a snapshot in the familyalbum, 
daddy, what else did you leave for me? 
DADDY WHAT YOU'D LEAVE BEHIND FOR ME?
All and all 
it was just bricks in the wall.
(Roger Waters - The Wall)             




10. 
It's strange here without you 
so brother up in heaven,
please wait up for me. 
I still see his shadow, 
his laugh lingers on. 
When I dream we'll all back together, 
when I wake he's gone. 
It's strange here without you, 
this was not meant to be.  
(Alan Parsons - Brother up in heaven)

11.
Stekeblind, 
oostindisch doof wil ik voor altijd zijn, 
om maar niet te zien of te kunnen horen 
dat alles is verloren. 
Zonder jou kan ik niet eten slapen lopen dansen leven. 
Dus blijf ik hier nu zitten
en blijf ik hier nu wachten
tot het water ooit weer in beweging komt
en dan drijf ik mee totaan de zee
waar jij op mij zal wachten.
Marco Borsato - Het water)      




Beide biologische families hebben mij de rug toegekeerd (12,13).


12.
Nobody sees me, 
no one believes me, 
nobody understands the words I say 
Tell me you see me, 
say you believe me, 
Tell me you understand me and I will be free
I guess I don't fit the times. 
I'm just a throwback, 
I have no use for any-thing I see 
I'd like to find a country, 
where no one else has been before. 
I don't know what you'are wanting from life, 
I just don't understand your tricks and your slyness. 
If you know some place to go them I ask you, 
lead me to the door.
(Tony Banks - Throwback) 





13.
I've been mothered, smothered, 
cuddled, kissed and danced
with cheek to cheek. 
Then buried ,lost, forgotten, 
ignored for years and years. 
Then moved from pillar to post. 
There's a game I'll swear everyone plays
to see who can help me the most. 
I'm kept in the dark about things everybody knows. 
It's love with-out the heart for it 
and they don't think that it shows. 
This is not the way I want to live my life,
made me look so unimportant, made me look so small. 
You see oneday I'll fly so free. 
This is not the way I imagined they would care. 
I'm no experiment, 
it's a wonder I'm here at all. 
Look me in the eyes and say it, 
say you love me just the way I am.
(Adrian Snell - Beautiful or what)




Het werd overduidelijk dat ik maar door één mens
op deze aarde vanaf mijn prilste begin gewenst
en geliefd was; mijn lieve moeder! (14)


14.
You taught me everything
and everything you've given me, 
I always keep it inside.
You are the driving force in my life.
There isn't anything or anyone that I could be
and it just wouldn't be right, 
if I had not you by my side. 
You were there for me 
for lovin care for me, 
you were always there to comfort me. 
No one else can be what you have bin to me, 
Mama, you know I love you. 
I never gonna go a day without you,
(Boyz to Men - Mama)  




In mijn hart kwam zodoende één grote wens naar boven (15): Ik wilde 
mijn moeders meisjesnaam als mijn meisjesnaam krijgen. Dat zou voor 
mij veel kloppend maken. En dat is gelukt! Blijdschap met een lach
en een traan! Gezien de grote betekenis hiervan voor mij en de
moeite die ik hiervoor heb moeten doen, ga ik  in het vervolg als
Jeannette Stierman door het leven .


15.
When each step you take is a make or break decision.
In these crazy days of the custom made religion. 
Now your faith is less so your second guess, 
cause you haven't got a clue. 
So do what your heart tells you to do.
Now the world is unfamiliar territory 
as you work your way through this complicated story. 
You don't need to buy every truth and lie from the latest guru. 
If you go where your heart tells you to go my friend, 
you'll find your way again, 
just listen to within you. 
It's as simple as knowing what you always knew, 
just do what your heart tells you to do
(Jango - What you heart tells you to do)            




Dat ik deze gecompliceerde, moeilijke weg heb kunnen gaan en kan 
afmaken, hoe lang dat ook mag gaan duren dank ik aan :

ADJAN, mijn allerliefste, trouwe levenskameraad. Er zijn geen
woorden voor om te zeggen hoeveel jouw onophoudelijke liefde, 
steun en opvang voor mij betekenen. Voor mij van levensbelang!(17)

MATTHIJS EN MARJET, jullie liefde, vrolijkheid en ondeugend-
heid laten mij het leven in al haar glorie zien.

STEPHEN, jouw geduld, wijsheid en jarenlange steun zijn een 
groot aandeel in mijn groei tot een mooi mens.

BONDGENOOTVRIENDEN EN VRIENDINNEN, doordat jullie mij 
een veilige, liefdevolle plek gaven, heb ik door kunnen gaan.

OSGVRIENDEN EN VRIENDINNEN, jullie trouw deed mij zo goed.
VRIENDEN EN VRIENDINNEN binnen en buiten Barneveld, jullie 
aandacht en luisterend oor waren zo belangrijk voor mij.

GOD, boven alles, want Hij gaf mij het grootste geschenk wat een 
mens kan ontvangen : HET LEVEN. 

Ik realiseer mij dat het eng is om zo mensen te noemen, iemand kan
zich vergeten voelen, niet doen, ook aan u/ jouw /jullie : 


BEDANKT, UIT DE GROND VAN MIJN HART !!!!





17.
In the darkness of your nights
and the brightnes of your days, 
honey, I will always love you,
always,
always.

And the darkness it's alright
so I won't be afraid
and I will always love you darling, 
always,
always.
(David Knopfler - I will always love you)        

(dit nam Adjan voor mij op).


Shalom
Jeannette